Chelsea vs. The Owl

Thursday, February 9, 2012
Last night, I had a showdown with an owl. That's right, a full-feathered, creepy-necked, sharp-beaked owl.


Did my owl encounter happen on a farm? Or in a heavily-wooded area where the chance of an owl run-in is probable?

No.

My owl showdown happened at the grocery store.



Now, I know what you're thinking: Chelsea, do you live in some rural area where owls fly amuck and frequent the local grocer?

Nope. I live in Phoenix, Arizona.

PHOENIX.

So, anyway...I was walking out of the grocery store at approximately 8:30pm when a giant owl swooped down from the roof--or wherever he'd been hiding--and landed right in front of me. But he kept his wings outstretched, like he was going to give me a hug. Or flap me to death.


For a moment, I just stood there. Looking around the parking lot to see if anyone--anyone at all--was nearby to witness this unusual bird encounter. But, of course, the parking lot was completely empty.

I paused. I blinked. And then I took a step forward. I had every intention of dropping my groceries, tip-toeing around the giant owl, and running like a madman to my car.  Because, as some of you know, owls terrify me. They are big...and mean...and have talons.... What's not frightening about all that?

I mean...just look at those talons!!!


So, my plan was to drop my bag and flee. Screw the coffee creamer and butternut squash ravioli I'd just paid for. My life was at stake. (Because, no doubt, this owl planned to eat me alive.)

But as soon as I began to move away from the scary beast (have I mentioned how HUGE owls are in person? They're HUGE.) the owl started to hoot.

Hoot-hoot! Hoot-hoot!

I froze. The owl twisted his head from side to side (which is creepy, by the way) and just hooted at the top of his lungs--for no reason!

Although, who knows? Maybe Harry Potter sent this owl to me with a critical Hogwarts message and due to my insane--yet, totally rational--fear of owls I failed to retrieve said message and now Voldemort is going to take over all the magic in the land and fill the night sky with smoke snakes!

OR....

Maybe it was just a crazy owl hooting away at me because he wanted my ravioli.

Either way, I gripped my car keys in my hand (like tiny knuckle weapons), side-stepped the deadly bird, and hurried to my vehicle where I immediately locked myself inside--just in case he knew how to open car doors with his razor-blade claws.

Phew! Close one.

Anyway...just another night in the life of Chelsea.  Silly owls.

8 comments:

  1. Misty said...:

    LOL!!!!!!  I had a bird dive bomb through my window once at a taco stand.  Apparently he was hungry & I had the answer, so I totally get your completely ridiculous reaction to the man eating owl.  Birds are EVIL!!! Just ask Poe. :)

  1. Jennifer T said...:

    That's awesome. I commend you for your bravery in the face of Owl. 

  1. Chelsea Fine said...:

     A taco stand? Geez! Birds are out of control! Haha :)

  1. Chelsea Fine said...:

     Haha. Why, thank you. :)

  1. Banana Peel said...:

    That is so cool.. I'm glad you made it out alive chelsea, it was a close one for a second but the chelsea bravery kicked in and won ;)

  1. Rachel M. said...:

    I just finished Anew last night and just had to tell you how much I loved it. It's my new favorite book. But I also wanted to thank you for writing it so clean! I mean, the romance was beautiful, the kisses were passionate, but there was no bad language or inappropriate content while still being so intriguing. It was a real page turner and I had decided it was my new favorite before I even found out it was so clean. Can I ask you why you decided to write it so clean when so many YA books aren't? And can I ask you if all your books are clean?

    Anyway, thank you for the story! It was brilliant! And be careful of those owls!~Rachel

  1. Chelsea Fine said...:

     Hi Rachel! :) I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed Anew! As for the content, I try to keep in mind my young readers when I put together a story. I have a lot of readers who are 12-14 so I try to write books that appeal to them, without infringing on their youth or innocence. :) I'm glad you can appreciate my effort in this. :) Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and for commenting on my blog! It's nice to meet you! :)

  1.  mahahahahaha, Chelsea *tsk tsk* the poor owl probably wanted to tell you he read Anew.

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