Dear Fear....

Monday, June 20, 2011
I found myself doubting my ability to write today and it nearly paralyzed me.  

Because who am I?  I am no English major with a master's in creative writing.  I am no well-traveled journalist who has important things to say about life.  I am nothing of consequence in the world of writing.

I am just a girl who likes to read and remembers what it's like to be a teenager.  So what can I possibly have to say on paper?  

I was sitting in front of my computer, wallowing in insecurity, when I realized fear—specifically the fear of failing, or being unworthy—will be my nemesis regardless of what I choose to pursue in life.  Fear’s not going anywhere…but I refuse to stay put. 

So to my nemesis I say, “Bring it on!” 


What do I have to say on paper?  Plenty.  Because I have a story.  Not an idea--a story.  So I will persevere until my story is told.  To heck with the credentials!  

I'm not sure at what point I'm allowed to whole-heartedly believe in myself without sounding like a dweeb...but I'm thinking that 'point' is right here, right now, on this Monday in 2011.  

So, I'm a dweeb.  

I've got one lifetime to jump headfirst into anything and everything that lights my heart on fire and--gosh darn it--I'm throwing myself over the ledge of fiction today! Haha!  (<--- is this sounding like the monologue of a crazy person…?)

I'm actually visualizing myself diving into a big stack of freshly-printed book pages, which would realistically leave severe paper cuts and ink stains all over my body, but I don't care!  I want to sing and dance and run as fast as I can across this sea of writing and story-telling, and pound on my chest with the exuberance of a four-year-old!  So I WILL!  HahaHAHA! (<--- That was my crazy/psycho laugh, right there.)

I have a lot of work to do in order to finish my next book, which will be the first book in a paranormal series.  I  have ¼ of the first book completed, and I’m sure I’ll have many more run-ins with self-doubt.  

But I'm not afraid.  (Take that, fear!)  I'm not afraid of failing, and I am not afraid of trying again if I do.

Because fear is debilitating and I will not succumb to it and be robbed of an opportunity.  No, siree!  (how do you spell that?  Sir-ee? Sirree?  See, these are things a writer should know...I really have a LOT of work to do....)  :)

With that being said........Back to the lab I go!!!

2 comments:

  1. Ang said...:

    :) I love your guts!
    You inspire me.

  1. Chelsea Fine said...:

    @Ang
    I love YOUR guts. (And I love that you used that phrase...it just warms my heart) Love you!

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