A Ridiculous List of 5 Things NOT to do

Monday, December 12, 2011
I recently finished writing my first Young Adult Paranormal Romance book (yay) and during that time I learned some very valuable lessons about what NOT to do when writing a book:

1) Don't try to hash-out your plot line with rational people. They will look at you like you're crazy and say something like, "But witches aren't real." <---people like this don't belong in my world.

2) Don't wait until the very last minute to come up with a last name for one of your characters. You'll end up naming them after things you see. Like John Pencil or John Coffee...or John Four-Baskets-Of-Laundry.

3) Don't drink and write. Coffee is your friend. It keeps you awake and energized so you can write that one scene where everyone is running around confused and crazy. Tequila? Not your friend (at least not when you need to write). Tequila makes you write sentences like "You look like a sad spaghetti noodle." True story. (See Ch. 34 in Anew

4) Don't forget to eat. I know writers like to hole up in a cave and write all hunched over at their computers like they're mad scientists of words...but food is essential. Without it, you get delirious and start talking to inanimate objects. Like your computer. I'm pretty sure I had a fifteen minute argument with my Mac about "file space" that ended in tears. Hunger makes us crazy.

5) Don't let yourself get spooked! This one is fo sho! (That's my thug talk, right there.) It's scary to pour your time into creating a story and then release it to the public. It's truly terrifying. It's like taking all your clothes off in the mall (which I've never done, but I assume it's frightening. And weird. So, ya know, don't do that.) You have to commit! Throw your words down and smile! You just wrote a book. Hollaaaaa!!!!

That's me...holding my latest book. See how happy I look? I'm happy because I wrote a BOOK. And that's all that matters. :) So, don't let others spook you out of your passion! Write, write, write! :)


  1. haleyeliseread said...:

    Awesome post hun!!! :D haha ...You look like a happy spaghetti noodle holding your book! (:

  1. @haleyeliseread Haha, well that's what I was going for: Happy Spaghetti. :)

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Awesome tips! Congrats on your new books, and you do look happy :)

  1. ashley bugg said...:

    "You just wrote a book. Hollllaaaaaa!" Oh goodness me. I like, totally, heart you. <3

  1. Angeline Kace said...:

    Hahaha! Great advice here, C-Thug!! You are hilarious! Maybe I need to get me some Tequila because sad spaghetti noodle is freakin' AWESOME!!!

    K-Beatz out :)

  1. @Angeline Kace Ah, Tequila. Making and breaking story lines for centuries... :) Haha! K-Beatz! I love our thug names! We need to use those more often....

  1. Andrew Hall said...:

    I like this list a lot. It's funny, but serious and also very inspirational. Writers need little notes like this to keep them on track. Thanks

  1. Juanita Olson said...:

    Loved your list of things not to do, but unfortunately if I did not have serious conversations with my computer it would do it own thing. It likes to decide where the next sentence or the next word should go or it decides it doesn't like what I just wrote and delete. Maybe I need to give some Tequila to the computer. Maybe that will work and it can add great discriptions like happy spaghetti noodles. Keep up the great work.

  1. Love the post, it got a smile outta me! ;)

    I can't wait to read Anew! Seriously, canót wait. I actually sent my information through the blog to request a book, interview, ect, but they haven't gotten back to me. Hmm. I wonderif they will?

    Anyways congrats again, this is like my 4th time of saying that through email, tweets, haha

    Woohoo! :)

  1. @REBECCA@ReadingWishes Hi Rebecca!! :) If you sent your information in, they will probably get back to you within a month. (things move SLOW in the publishing world, haha) I really hope you get a chance to read Anew! :) Nice to meet you (again) haha! :)

  1. @Juanita Olson Hahaha! YES! You should definitely give your computer Tequila! :) Be sure to tell me how that goes, haha. :)

  1. tammara said...:

    I laughed all the way through this!! And I NEEDED that laugh! I heartily agree with ALL of these. (OMG, especially #3. Because me + tequila doesn't = "sad spaghetti noodle." Let's just leave it at that.) Phone books are good for last names! (However, I did know a Jeff Coffee in middle school. He was HOT... but since he was nice to the mean popular girls and didn't even spare a glance at poor little nearsighted, headgear-wearing me, I hope he's fat and bald now.) I love your happy picture. :)

  1. I so love this! I know it's a few weeks old, but I'm tweeting it :D One of my things not to do is not to get spooked by what I write... I fail miserably every time cause I do get scared LOL Makes me wonder why I write scary stuff in the first place... Definitely dropped on my head when I was a baby lol

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